Why?

by Danielle Miller February 10, 2021

I believe you deserve to feel confident. I believe your clothes should make you feel good. I believe you should be allowed to express yourself.

I believe other people's opinions of you do not matter.

I believe every woman is size beautiful.

Comfort + Style + Confidence

This is more than a tagline for us. We work hard every day to bring you comfortable, stylish, quality items, that won't break your budget. We personally select each and every item in the boutique so we can be confident you will fall in love with every piece you receive from us. Our shop focuses on basic closet staples, and classic pieces that you will love for seasons, peppered with unique accessories, trendy items, and a whole lot of fun.

We cater to every body........
........because everybody deserves to be catered to.

I grew up in Northwest Kansas, surrounded by open plains and cow patties. Nope, didn't know Dorothy. Or Toto. I did meet the TinMan once though at the fair! I think. I don't really have many childhood memories. But I do know I spent a lot of my time outside exploring on the farm; climbing trees, riding my bike. I remember pretending that fairies lived in these two lilac trees I considered my "secret world"....I was a busy kid. I didn't watch a lot of tv; I was influenced solely by my world around me.

One thing that was never on my radar was "girl stuff". You know, girrrrrl stuff. Makeup, accessories, perms....none of these things ever crossed my mind. I had a Barbie, but I didn't daydream of dressing like her, or having pink lips. Neither my grandma nor my mom were shopping the hottest new palettes at Ulta back in 1986. -Side Note- Where the heck DID they shop? I honestly have no idea; the closest thing resembling that was Stapleton's, and I never went in there because it was a terrifying place! Everything seemed like it was made out of glass and my grandmother drilled into my head this truth that I never forgot -- if you break something, they will make you stay and work until it is paid for. How long? Who knows!? THAT did not sound like a good deal to me.

Anywayyy....I spent the first 13 years of my life (as does/will/did you and every other female of our species) oblivious of the fact that being a girl means that how you see yourself in the mirror is not how others see you. Not only that, it means that those others will expect you to WANT to make yourself into how they see you. I say the first 13 years, but quite honestly it took me a liiiiiiittle bit longer than that to not only recognize this fact, but to stop letting it apply to my life. I can't believe the things my young self did, and tried, and prayed over, hoping to just fit in. Remember that stupid ankle-cuff-fold-thing we all did back then? What in the HECK was that and why was it so important that I did it EXACTLY right to be cool? Who decided that?

My heart breaks for that girl. She wanted so desperately just to be liked. She tried it all, too. The perfect ankle-cuff, the spiral perm, the exact dress for 8th grade graduation that everyone would be in awe of. Be a cheerleader, sing in the choir, play all the sports, ace every exam....perfect perfect perfect....constantly seeking approval and doing everything she could to fit.the.hell.in, but never quite achieving what she thought would make her happy. I'm exhausted when I think back to this time in my life. The funny thing is, what memories I do have are just blips on the map; they're few and far between. But that's probably a whole other conversation....hah

There are so many things I would tell that girl today. Things she couldn't see. I would tell her that she is so smart she could literally do anything she wanted to do. Literally an-y-thing. I would tell the 15 year old me not to pluck those beautiful, thick eyebrows, because in 30 years she will finally realize that you really don't know what ya got til it's gone, and those girls who laughed at her were just desperately trying to fit in, too. I'd tell the 35 year old me that the best years of her life were ahead of her still, and that the pot-hole filled road she had to take to get there was going to be worth the drive. I wish I had known all along that my outward appearance means nothing if I am so unhealthy I can barely function, and that the words skinny, fat, pretty, ugly, big, little, perfect, and flawed are almost 100% subjective.

I didn't know any of these things; I barely know them now, ok? haha But what I AM telling you friend, is being a woman is one of the hardest things a woman will have to do. Do you feel what I'm saying? Being a woman is a beautiful thing....it's also hard damn work. Like you, I look at other women's lives and compare myself to them. Why is she so much prettier/skinnier/better than me? But I don't sit in it for too long, and neither should you. Do you know why? Because she isn't any of those things. She may be pretty, or skinny, or really good at putting on eyeliner, but girlfriend she's got plenty of yuck going on in her life too; you're just seeing her through that social media lens.

I'm not perfect....my silver roots are 4 inches long, and I still know nothing about putting on makeup properly (no matter how many hours I spend trying to learn on YouTube). I still find myself trying to keep up with the others. And I'm always going to want people to like me....I really just am. But my eye makeup skills are improving.

And I'm slowly getting better at remembering these simple truths:

The real you is better than what you think people want you to be.
If they don't like/want you to be the real you, they're not your people. Find your people.
You are not defined by your pores, the cellulite on your thighs, or how thick your eyelashes are.
When you're 95 years old, you'll wish you ate all the cookies.
Love is the most important thing.

Eat the cookie.
xo Dani